


The Replicated Man

by Michael_Ackart



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Alexander the Sole Survivor, Blind Betrayal spoilers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-06 23:58:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5435636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Michael_Ackart/pseuds/Michael_Ackart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexander's musings during and after Blind Betrayal. He's never fully believed in the Brotherhood's cause</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Replicated Man

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to give me a shout at **gaycalshepard.tumblr.com** and talk to me about our favorite Dansing Queen

Alexander is appalled.

He’s had enough of Maxson’s fucked up speech, enough of the insults hurled at Danse. They’re all shocked the man’s a synth but Alex hates the Brotherhood for turning on the paladin so quickly. After everything Danse has done over the years, Maxson has no right to try to strip him of his humanity. Alex wont’ stand for that—and he’ll be dead before he allows any harm to befall the man he loves.

When Maxson finally storms away, taking the one constant in Danse’s life with him, Alex turns.

“Thank you,” Danse says quietly.

“He’s wrong, Danse.” Alexander needs to make sure he understands. “There is _nothing_ wrong with you. You’re the same man as before.”

He nods but he still seems out of it. Alex doesn’t push because he’s sure Danse is overwhelmed.

“I-I don’t want to die. I realized that when I saw Maxson. I’m relieved now that it was you he sent to find me. You’ve shown me that I don’t have to be ashamed or afraid of what I am.”

Alex grabs him and hugs him warmly. Feeling him in his arms is extra reassurance that Danse is okay and has not actually been murdered. He hears Danse inhale a shaky breath against his neck and they stay like that for some time.

“You should go,” the paladin says, “and see what Maxson’s next orders are.”

“He can wait.”

“I’ll be fine,” he promises, knowing what Alexander is thinking.

He pulls back and places a kiss on Danse’s lips. Over his shoulder he sees his carelessly tossed pack on the ground. “Wait.” He walks over to it and digs through his miscellaneous belongings until he finds the item he wants. “Go home. To Diamond City.” He holds up the familiar key, the one with the stupid baseball keychain he hates, then shoves it into his hand.

Danse stares at it before nodding. “I-I’ll wait for you there, Lexi.”

They kiss again and Alexander doesn’t want to go but he does. From a distance he watches Danse return to the bunker for whatever things he’s brought with him. Worry lances through him—he saw the bottles of alcohol earlier. Danse is upset, ‘understandably so’ is an understatement, but Alexander has to trust that Danse knows his limits.

“I’ll see you soon,” he whispers to the trees before he turns around and leaves.

The journey back to the Prydwen is a long one. Alexander wants to drag his feet, make Maxson wait, but he’s eager to get back to Danse. He needs to return to him, to give him the support and comfort he needs, the same support and comfort Danse has given him in his darkest hours.

~~~

“His body wouldn’t even be cold yet and you’re already raffling off his things?” Alexander sneers.

“That thing is a reminder that the Brotherhood needs to remain vigilant in its-”

“Fuck you. He’s a person, he gave everything to this cause. You are disgusting.”

“Enough!” Maxson shouts. “It’s over and there is to be no mention of Danse ever again aboard this ship. Understood?”

Alexander’s mouth twitches before twisting into a cruel smirk. He doesn’t say the thoughts coursing through his mind. “Perfectly.”

“Then you are dismissed for now, Paladin.”

Alex turns on his heel and heads for the main deck. His plan is to pack as many of Danse’s belongings as he can find, hop into his power armor, then fling himself off the ship. He’s not sure if he’ll ever come back.

He sees a few bottles of rum and some cigarette packs crammed into the backs of drawers. This isn’t his first time in Danse’s quarters and he knew these things would be here. That doesn’t make it any easier.

“We’ll get through this. You’ll be okay,” he promises.

Danse’s power armor doesn’t fit him right and honestly, it just feels wrong to wear it. He’s not sure if Danse even wants it but maybe they can paint over it. Maybe he can convince him to paint it a nice dark red or something.

He goes outside, ignoring the stray comments about ‘the synth.’ The sun is starting to set and he knows he won’t make it to Diamond City tonight. If he can convince the vertibird to drop him off on the other side of the bay then he can walk the rest of the way to the Railroad’s headquarters. That is about as long of a ride as he can stand with them.

It’s dark by the time he finally arrives. His helmet is already off so the Railroad knows it’s him and not some Brotherhood infiltrator. The last thing he needs is Glory shoving her minigun up his ass.

He talks to Desdemona privately and explains the situation to her. She’s surprised.

He feels sick and is barely able to eat the noodle cup he makes. All he thinks about is Danse alone and drunk—and he’d be lying to himself if he says he isn’t worried Maxson will go against his word and send more soldiers after Danse. He curses himself for leaving, they should have gone to Diamond City together.

Alexander is terrible at helping the people he loves.

He eventually throws himself onto a dirty mattress, imagines Danse doing the same, and he hopes the man’s nightmares don’t plague him tonight. It’s a pointless wish, deep down he knows that.

The next morning, Alexander wants to rush home but he doesn’t even know if Danse is there yet. He decides to leave the HQ early anyways—if Danse isn’t there then he can just pick the lock and wait. He suits up in his borrowed power armor then straps on his gun and leaves. Dez says to come back and she’ll help in any way she can. He knows she means it.

~~~

It’s impossible to tell if anyone’s inside when he reaches the house. There aren’t any windows and both doors are closed. He steps out of the power armor and hooks it up to the stand just out front. Everybody knows this is his place, they won’t dare touch his things.

The door is locked.

He knocks with one hand but reaches for his box of bobby pins with the other. He puts an ear to the door briefly before leaning down and carefully opening the lock. It’s dark inside, Danse isn’t here. He reaches for the light switch and flicks it on. It takes a second for the fuse box to react and he takes a step forward. He nearly slips and crashes backwards against the wall.

The lights flicker on and he looks down to see an empty beer bottle. That isn’t left over from his last visit.

“Danse?” he calls out. “Danse, you here?”

He walks around to climb the stairs and sure enough, he sees the outline of his paladin on the bed. He’s facing the wall and Alexander wonders if he’s sleeping. He moves to sit on the mattress and his nose wrinkles at the smell of cigarette smoke and spilled booze.

“I-I’m not even real,” Alexander hears. “I’m just a fucking… _thing._ ”

“You’re not though.”

“I am. I don’t know if all my feelings are just programmed or what memories are even mine. But…I do remember. I remember being an orphan and scouring ruins, feeling lonely, going to Rivet City and…why couldn’t the Institute give me some fucking parents or siblings? I started out with nothing and now Maxson’s ensured that I end with nothing.”

Alexander puts a hand on his shoulder and that’s enough to coax Danse onto his back and away from the wall. “This isn’t the end and you’re not alone. I promise you you’re not alone. Maxson is wrong, the Brotherhood is wrong about synths—that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you for months. Your feelings are exactly that. _Yours._ All these years spent serving the Brotherhood, you coming with me to find the Institute, to help the Minutemen, to be my lover—Danse, those were all _your_ decisions. You’re a better person than most people in the Commonwealth and I love you. That’s never going to change. Just like you don’t have to change. You were born a little differently than me but so fucking what? You are the same man I fell in love with and I hope you love that man too.”

“I…maybe…you’re right. It’s overwhelming. I’m one of the things that a few months ago, I considered abominations and a blight on humanity. You’ve challenged those beliefs since the first time we met and now…it’s a lot to think about.”

“I know it is. I know. But just…you’re not alone, okay? You’ve been there so often for me and I want to be here for you. A thing wouldn’t be struggling like this, a _thing_ wouldn’t care. You are so much more than that, Danse.”

He thinks Danse is starting to believe that. He hopes. He stands, Danse’s eyes on him, and strips off his armor and clothes down to his t-shirt. Alex joins him on the bed and holds him close and brushes fingers through his hair the way he knows Danse likes. Danse is strong—not just physically—and stronger than he realizes. Alexander’s only hope right now is that he’ll learn to accept he’s a synth, accept that although the Brotherhood no longer supports him—and Alex knows how crushing that is for him—he still has Alex and a group of well-meaning misfits that will stand by him no matter what comes next.


End file.
